David M. Bresnahan
April 9, 2006Dear President Bush:I’m about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I’m going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I’m on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
- Free medical care for my entire family
- English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
- All government forms need to be printed in English
- I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers
- Schools need to include classes on American culture and history
- I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
- Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch
- I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
- I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won’t make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
- In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
- I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
- I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don’t enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
- Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan
2006 David M. Bresnahan – All Rights
Now before anyone goes all balistic. I agree, it’s a little ridiculous to expect that type of treatment, but when it’s all stated like that, it makes you think about how things have changed here in America for some of those exact reasons. The Catch-22 is that because of those changes, it’s part of the reasons that makes the good ‘ol U.S. of A. the great place that it is. I welcome everyone here, just wish more people respected it when they’re here. That includes all the “Americans” that are already here and forget just how good we’ve got it, and what it took to earn it.
ben says
yeah, that cracks me up. This is why America has been great. I work at the Hispanic Ministry Center (UYWI is a DBA), and this Columbian native (she's in the country on a visa) is in our office the other day and I bring up talking about the bill that makes English the official language of the US. She was so offended for about 30 seconds until I reminded her that I'm not trying to speak to her in German, that she can communicate with others on staff who are of Japanese, Korean, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Italian, African, German (again-there 2 of us), and Filipino origin. English is how I was communicatng with her because it is the common language used in the states. She told me she was upset when she read about that bill because she felt it discriminated against spanish speakers, and I reminded her of countless Indian, Arab, African, and Europeans who must learn English to communicate with the world. She confessed to me that she had only been thinking of herself and her people. The reason that Bill passed is because it's been the language that's stuck throughout generations of immigrants.
ben says
yeah, that cracks me up. This is why America has been great. I work at the Hispanic Ministry Center (UYWI is a DBA), and this Columbian native (she’s in the country on a visa) is in our office the other day and I bring up talking about the bill that makes English the official language of the US. She was so offended for about 30 seconds until I reminded her that I’m not trying to speak to her in German, that she can communicate with others on staff who are of Japanese, Korean, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Italian, African, German (again-there 2 of us), and Filipino origin. English is how I was communicatng with her because it is the common language used in the states. She told me she was upset when she read about that bill because she felt it discriminated against spanish speakers, and I reminded her of countless Indian, Arab, African, and Europeans who must learn English to communicate with the world. She confessed to me that she had only been thinking of herself and her people. The reason that Bill passed is because it’s been the language that’s stuck throughout generations of immigrants.