By Jason Bean
I don’t know if it’s because of my normally positive attitude (a la “Bnpositive”) or just my enjoyment for sarcasm that makes me enjoy these so much.
We’ve all seen the professional posters that people put up in offices to help motivate their employees. This site gives a little spin to that.
Here’s one example: Cluelessness – There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
Check them all out at Despair, Inc.
By Jason Bean
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God up there?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there. Possibly he just doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she possibly may not even have one!
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT” II CORINTHIANS 5:7
By Jason Bean
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students… here is something to make you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was “DON’T !”
“Don’t what? ” Adam replied.
“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.” God said.
“Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! ”
“No Way! ”
“Yes way! ”
“Do NOT eat the fruit! ” said God.
“Why ?”
“Because I am your Father and I said so! ” God replied, wondering why He hadn’t stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit? ” God asked.
“Uh huh,” Adam replied.
“Then why did you? ” said the Father.
“I don’t know,” said Eve.
“She started it! ” Adam said.
“Did not! ”
“Did too! ”
“DID NOT! ”
Having had it with the two of them, God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
don’t be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
“TAKE TWO ASPIRIN” & “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN”!!!!!