I recently received this little bit of what I’ve always called World Wide Wisdom. That’s the name I’ve given to those things that you receive in the email that aren’t quite on par with the rest of the crap you usually get.
No this little bit is actually pretty funny and well written. I tried to do some searches to look for the original author, but didn’t have any confirmed success. If you know who originally wrote this, please let me know, I want to give credit where credit is due.
Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science: (Gv)
Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 – 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Okay, now that we’ve lightened up your Weekly Wednesday Hump Day, go and be productive in your cubicle!
